Today was a day of thought and unexplained emotion. I was sitting at a Jamaican cafe eating my favorite dish, oxtail, and a random thought crept into my mind. It was of a recent post I saw on Facebook about racism and before I knew it, my eyes became watery. I asked why? A sense of unexplained sadness came over me. Was I in a depression and didn't even know it( sometimes this happens to me)? I knew I was feeling this way for a couple days now just did not want to address it. I still do not know why I am sad, but I suppose I can only take that energy and create with it since I don't want it manifesting in to anything else that may impede my spiritual growth or creative process.
Everyday is growth for me. If I stop to be conscious of myself, my surroundings, my thoughts then I have learned and have taken in a little bit more knowledge of what IS. I do not want to be consumed with illusion and unrealistic thoughts that can boggle my mind. I want to live in reality, which is a beautiful one, I have nothing to complain about. Maybe because I am a highly sensitive person, I do feel other's sadness and yesterday was a full moon so there was a lot in effect in my surroundings, possibly.? I can only question and try to understand my Self. I only have one chance to know this vehicle inside and out. Creating is important to me for this reason, bringing what is inside to the exterior with my hands through my art.
A natural introvert with a friendly personality, that is me. Social awkwardness does not control me, but it use to. Today I do have to recognize it on a daily to control it, take deep breaths and so on...lol. Anyway, just being honest and hoping I didn't bore anyone to death.
Life gets a little more beautiful while listening to Bjork's "Joga" ..." emotional landscapes they puzzle me- confuse, then the riddles get solved and you push me up to this state of emergency!" LOL, it just came on and felt I had to share.:)
Soir Feb. 2012
Everyday is growth for me. If I stop to be conscious of myself, my surroundings, my thoughts then I have learned and have taken in a little bit more knowledge of what IS. I do not want to be consumed with illusion and unrealistic thoughts that can boggle my mind. I want to live in reality, which is a beautiful one, I have nothing to complain about. Maybe because I am a highly sensitive person, I do feel other's sadness and yesterday was a full moon so there was a lot in effect in my surroundings, possibly.? I can only question and try to understand my Self. I only have one chance to know this vehicle inside and out. Creating is important to me for this reason, bringing what is inside to the exterior with my hands through my art.
A natural introvert with a friendly personality, that is me. Social awkwardness does not control me, but it use to. Today I do have to recognize it on a daily to control it, take deep breaths and so on...lol. Anyway, just being honest and hoping I didn't bore anyone to death.
Life gets a little more beautiful while listening to Bjork's "Joga" ..." emotional landscapes they puzzle me- confuse, then the riddles get solved and you push me up to this state of emergency!" LOL, it just came on and felt I had to share.:)
Soir Feb. 2012
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